Let the Games Begin!

It has been forever 4 months since I last raced. No matter how long you have been racing it is always nice to get in a no pressure race to shake off some nerves and go through the race morning motions before the meat and potatoes of the season begins. I love the Fragrance Lake Half Marathon, not only because of the course, but because I get to toe the line with my friends and have pizza and watch them drink beer after.

The BTRC Family. PC: CamE Tasker

I was getting really excited about Fragrance, especially after my Wednesday workout. It was an aggressive 2x a lap around Lake Padden, the fastest I've ever run. This was really confidence-boosting for the future and shows that all of the fitness I gained in the fall that did not manifest in a race is still there. But right after the workout, I was struggling with intense heel pain that was almost unbearable. The rest of the day it continued to be crippling, so much so that I could not even walk home from the dentist. Obviously, I became distraught and naturally I thought the worst until Tad calmed me down and reminded me that I was seeing Kerry (Prime Massage and Sports Medicine) and Chris (aka Dr. Lockwood, Align Chiropractic) the next day. He was right; they have been known to possess miraculous powers so I needed to stay calm until they had time to work their magic.

Getting ready for some slipping and sliding.

The next day the pain was still excruciating, and ran one minute and called it a day. I went to see Kerry who almost immediately diagnosed the problem - a strain in my calf muscle that was expressing pain at the attachment point on my heel. She did a combination of massage, joint mobilization and Graston Technique and then tag-teamed me off to Chris. Because I have been seeing Chris for so long now - about 3 years - my body has become extremely responsive to his adjustments and we're able to fine-tune tweaks and weaknesses fairly easily.

Heading into Two Dollar.

I left my dream team feeling much better about the situation and confident that I was not doomed. I may not be able to race on Saturday, but we knew this was not an issue that would derail my training for weeks. On Friday, the pain was night and day. I was able to get in 5 miles on minimal pain that never progressed. The plan was to run Fragrance Lake with the goal of practicing race morning, but be smart enough to shut it down or stop if the pain was bad. Well, an incredible thing happened: there was no pain. I couldn't believe it! From not being able to walk on Thursday to running a technical, muddy trail half on Saturday, I can't tell you how grateful I am!

Climbing Rock Trail.

The race itself was pretty uneventful; I ran completely alone the entire time. This was totally fine for the day as it allowed me to listen to my body and still give a solid effort without killing myself. Candice changed up the course a bit this year, taking us the long way around the lake, and fallen trees and thick mud really slowed things down so it is hard to compare to last year. I was first female and third overall. Results here. Congrats to my training partner, Josh Vander Wiele for crushing the course and getting some Fragrance Lake redemption! And congratulations to everyone who raced this weekend here in Bellingham, at the trials and afar. There was no shortage of inspiration!

Thanks to Candice Burt (who has the cutest dog in the entire world!) and Garrett Froelich for directing and organizing the Bellingham Trail Running Series. For more "Destination Trail Running Events for the Adventurous," check out Destination Trail.

I seriously can't thank Kerry and Chris enough for their care and concern in keeping me healthy. It means an incredible amount to me that words can't describe. I can't wait to see what opportunities and results this year will bring because "together we can do so much."

Side Note:

Happy Valentine's Day to my best friend in the entire world - I love you a stupid amount!

Making the Donuts

The New Year didn't prompt me to reflect, evaluate my goals or make resolutions. January 1, 2016 was just another day of training, another day of trying to be better and another day working on my weaknesses.

My "new year" began on November 8^th. After a disappointing performance at the Lake Padden Trail Half Marathon and a "did not start" at the Moab Marathon, it was time for a break physically and mentally. I took two weeks off from running, but still went to the gym (Terrain) and took a couple yoga classes for fun. Still, I felt mentally drained and had no motivation to start running. One day I went out for a run, got a mile out and just stopped and walked back to the car. I just didn't want to run. This feeling scared me as it has never happened before so I went to the doctor and got blood work done. All of my lab results came out just fine and I was pleased when the doctor tipped her hat to my good nutrition.

2016 was an incredible year, arguably the best in my running career. Highlighted by representing the U.S. team and placing 18^th at the World Long Distance Mountain Running Championships and by winning the La Sportiva Mountain Cup. Every goal I set I managed to achieve. It's not very often you can say that. So, I think my problem was simply that I was tired. The day I walked back to the car I gave myself until the end of the week to "snap out of it," and if I was still in a funk I would take another week completely off from any physical activity. Luckily as the week progressed, I started to feel better and, almost magically, things turned around. My motivation was back and I was ready to get out the door and start thinking about workouts again.

Cooper's Rock State Forest, West Virginia

While in my funk, I also wanted to address the anxiety that was overwhelming me the past 3 months. I have had anxiety with panic attacks my whole life, but in the past 3 years the fear has mounted so high that I no longer feel comfortable driving alone anymore. After having a panic attack while previewing the Moab Marathon course, I had had enough. That was the final straw and something had to be done. I did not want my anxiety and panic to keep me from doing what I love to do so I aggressively sought help. I have been speaking with a mental health counselor and started taking anti-anxiety medication. Medication is something I have tried to avoid for years, but I came to the realization that sometimes you just need help and that's okay. I have no control over the fact that my brain has trouble balancing serotonin. Every day I have been trying to understand my anxiety and working up the courage to face the scary feelings of panic. I strongly believe that if I can overcome this, I will be able to take on a whole new level of challenges because no mountain, race course or competition is scarier than the thoughts in my head.

My goals for 2016 are more fluid than 2015. There is no more La Sportiva Mountain Cup series with points to win, but individual races with prize money. I will not have the opportunity to be on the U.S. Long Distance Mountain Running Team because I did not compete in the qualifying race in Moab. However, this year is an all up year for the short distance Mountain Running Championship which returns to Loon Mountain on July 3^rd. Third time is the charm, right?

I will kick off the season with the Fragrance Lake Half Marathon here in Bellingham on February 13^th and then my training and fitness level will dictate our next move. I have been logging consistent 80 mile weeks and I had my first workout in months just the other day. The tempo showed that I am right where I left off in October so that is encouraging moving forward.

Other stuff of interest:

AthleteBiz has launched a really cool opportunity for fans to purchase an athlete's favorite gear and in turn the athlete gets most of the profit.  Check out my personal store here.

Stewart Mountain, Bellingham

If you missed the Terrain Vimeo that we made last fall check it out here.

In the life of a competitive distance runner, December 31^st is the same as January 1^st, is the same as January 2^nd, 3^rd, 4^th… Every day we strive to be just a little bit fitter, just a little bit faster, just a little bit tougher, just a little bit braver.

Time to go make the donuts.

Terrain Gym Vimeo Shoot

I had the really cool opportunity to work with Bellingham photographer, Carton Artac, on a Vimeo for Terrain Gym. The two minute video shares my innate passion for running and tells how strength work was a missing piece of my training until I found Tonia and how it takes my training to the next level in order to be more competitive.

Prior to this interview, my goal for 2016 was to qualify for the World Long Distance Mountain Running Championship that will be in Slovenia next year and place in the top 10 (I was 18th at the World Championship this year). However, I failed to mention the Long Distance part. Also, this was before I went to the qualification race in Moab in early November and ended up not racing. 

Oh well.

It's a pretty awesome clip if I do say so myself. I am very proud of Terrain Gym and all that it stands for. If you're in the Bellingham area and looking for a unique gym that will make you stronger, fitter, faster, more durable and confident--then come and check it out!

Running in a Dream: The Lake Padden Trail ½ Marathon National Championship

Running in the USATF National Trail Half Marathon Championship yesterday at Lake Padden was like running in a dream. I say dream because nightmare sounds too dramatic. I was surrounded by too many loved ones, too perfect weather and my love of trail running is too much to compare my experience to a term that induces fits of horror.  

Winning the National Championship last year was one of the most special moments in my life. I have never experienced such a voluminous out-pour of love and support and it was a huge boost to my resume helping to bring about many opportunities for me in the last 12 months. I know that I was fortunate to have had that experience, especially in my hometown, and I will forever hold it close to my heart.

At the expo with 'Motional Maria. PC: Richard Bolt

Two weeks before the race I started to get really nervous. I blame this partly on Tad who is usually my rock, laid back and calming my monkey mind, but he was uncharacteristically worked up. Between his nervous energy and my anxiety our house was turning from a peaceful pea-pod (term coined by the BDP gals) to a restless storage closet of race paraphernalia. But, one day I woke up with the revelation that I didn't care what anyone thought about me or my race results and I recognized that all of the pressure I felt was all self-induced. I felt so much better. The week leading up to the race I was in a good head space; calm and mentally sound.

My body, on the other hand, felt slightly off. Even after cutting my mileage down dramatically I felt tired and sluggish. My token workout on Wednesday was ugly and forced. I also wanted to punch everybody in the face. Classic PMS symptoms. The night before the race I was up all night with bad cramps and when I woke up in the morning I had started my period. Bummer. But my first thought was if Krissy Moehl can run 175 miles of the Tahoe Rim Trail in 47 hours on hers, surely I can run 13 miles around Lake Padden on mine. So there.

After a beautiful evening for the race expo we were treated to perfect race weather. I got to the course in time to see the start of the Al Coyle Community 5k take off for the first time. It was great to meet some of the athletes who I have only read about and welcome them to Bellingham. As soon as the horn blew and we were off, I could tell I was off. I was working harder than I should have been and after running this course countless times I knew that that was not a good sign for what was to come. I passed a couple women on the first loop, but after coming back around on the gravel path my legs were done. At 7 miles I didn't think I would be able to finish. It literally felt like the classic dream of trying to run as fast as you can but being in slow motion. I was flailing, but going nowhere.

Trying to move forward.

I can honestly say that I have never felt like this in a race before. It really sucks that it had to be this one in front of everyone I know. Even though I kept slowing down, all of the volunteers and spectators kept cheering me on. I felt embarrassed and slightly humiliated being so far back. I was better than this, but there was nothing I could do about it. I ran the entire second loop alone. I could have very well just been on a training run. Time was not moving and I found myself constantly looking down to my watch to see if I was making any progress, something that never happens to me in a race. It was such a surreal experience that I still can't get over. On the last climb I heard bells and looked up to find the course sweepers, they were my trail angels. I needed their smiles and support more than ever!

I finally crossed the finish line in 8^th place after what felt like 3 days of torture. For me, whether a race goes good or bad, there is always that immediate feeling of bliss to just be done. Even though I was so far back I still received such an abundance of love from my community and I am so touched by everyone's support. Sincere congratulations to repeat men's winner Patrick Smyth and new national champion Kimber Mattox. Full results here.

It is when the excitement calms down and everyone goes home that the realization that you failed to achieve your goals sets in. I was realistic and knew that winning this race would take miraculous powers, but I am in shape to place top 5, no question. I was up all night tossing and turning with depression. I know I have no reason to be sad; I have had an incredible year! And truthfully in my old age I handle these situations much better than in the past. It doesn't make them any easier or the hurt any more bearable, but I know that this is par for the course and in the wise words of Alexi Pappas, 'I'm glad I didn't achieve all my goals today because then I would have nothing to do tomorrow."

So I am up at 6:30am this morning and ready to hit the trails. I will be racing the Marathon Trail Championships on November 7^th in Moab, Utah. There is no time to waste feeling sad. The good news is I won't be on my period!

I really can't thank enough all of the people who came out to watch and support and volunteer for the race. You are all so important to Tad and me; we truly struck gold when we decided to move here.

From the bottom of my heart I want to thank the important team of people who have got me to every starting line this year healthy: Kerry Gustafson, Chris Lockwood and Tonia Boze.

Thanks to my sponsors La Sportiva and Trail Butter for keeping me equipped and fueled to succeed; and Bio Skin Premium Bracing for aiding in my recovery and injury prevention and Rocket Pure for spoiling me with some awesome natural body care products.

Can I just say that my BellinghamDistance Project (BDP) teammates are the best? I love you girls so much!

Post-race Party at Aslan.

Lastly, I just have to say how proud I am of Tad Davis, race director extraordinaire and freshly minted fiancé. He has worked so hard over the past 12 months to create a national class event. He had many sleepless nights chewing over the best way to mark the course that would be vandalizer-proof (he ended up marking it 3 different ways) and stressing over having local awards, tables and chairs for the expo, etc at various points as problems arose. From the t-shirt design to laminated maps for each volunteer, he put a lot of care into every decision. He produced the results he envisioned and I am so proud of him. Thanks (and Happy Birthday!) to Al Coyle for establishing this platform where we can show off Bellingham and what makes it such an outstanding place to live.